As I walk into the studio at dawn, a sliver of moon is still visible, like a blessing. I’m empty. I ask myself the question I’ve come to associate with Viśvamitra, the question I ask during the Art of Flow
yoga teacher training, and in yoga classes whenever I’m teaching Viśvamitrasana as the peak pose. The theme is tapas (
very simply: inner fire)
, but the vital part of the class isn’t the pose or the theme. It’s the question that comes along with the pose: what do you want from getting what you want?
My mind reels through a list of impossible possibilities: I want my dad back. I want him not to have suffered, not to have shrunk to just 100 lbs. before dying a slow and agonizing death. I want him to know how much I miss our nightly phone calls. What hard work it is to find purpose without him here on the planet.
But these thoughts, all of them: I have to let them go. My friend Kyle once said…
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